As everyone knows, the posh end of town is the west end - think of London. Ormsaigbeg (pictured), at the western end of Kilchoan is, therefore, the local equivalent of Chelsea and has, as one would expect, home owners who have the right sort of professional background - three GPs, two ENT surgeons, a policeman, a couple of teachers, at least two gentleman farmers, a number of businessmen, and so on - all with a certain pride in maintaining appearances.Imagine our considerable distress, therefore, when five of entirely the wrong sort moved into the area on Saturday, the type one would probably find beating up a couple of harmless old ladies who have done nothing more provoking than taken a walk down to the shop to buy their monthly copy of Vogue.
I'm referring, of course, to these young things who've taken up residence on the plot below Bill Green's house. They're kept in by a couple of flimsy strands of wire which, if one is to believe Hughie MacLachlan, have a trickle of electricity passing through them. What, may I ask, if they escape? What sort of mayhem will be wreaked in our precious gardens?
And look at this one! Imagine walking along the road and meeting her on a dark night!It shouldn't be allowed!
With apologies to the Kilchoan Pig Rearing Syndicate
Personally I prefer not to think of London and Chelsea is a failing football team with nasty fans. We in the East End are real people who prefer to keep well away from the 'posh folk' and would be happy to have such tasty neighbours.
ReplyDeleteWell said, they are very tasty! The plan is to get pigs on every vacant bit of ground! There is a lovely bit just below the home of the diary!
ReplyDeleteI have been sent a comment by email: "I hate to tell you, but the "HER" that you do not fancy meeting on a dark night in the West-end, is a "HIM". In fact all five are!!"
ReplyDeleteAh well, one learns something new every day.