Sunday, 7 April 2013

Pig Fights Rock Ormsaigbeg

The west end of Ormsaigbeg currently has five pigs in two runs.  The Diary has, for months, been warning that problems would arise.  Yesterday, just after 6.00pm, the inevitable occurred.

Two of the Portuairk pigs, a sow and the Tamworth boar called Ginger, escaped their electrified enclosure and, led by the sow, made their way up to the road.  As terrified onlookers locked their gates and ran for the safety of their houses, she led her boar along the road....

 ....until he could see the Kilchoan pigs, Bobby and Betsy, in their run.

 At first, witnesses hoped - and prayed - that this might be some sort of porcine courtesy call....

....but Bobby possibly paid a little too much attention to the Portuairk sow as they promenaded up and down the fence.

Both Portuairk pigs were by now frothing at the mouth and grinding their teeth, hardly a friendly approach.  As the two ladies talked, the boars, with Bobby also now frothing and grinding, confronted each other across the electric fence.  Ginger tested it, leapt back at the shock...

....and then threw himself through the wires, breaking them, and launched a ferocious attack on Bobby, watched by their ladies.  As horrified onlookers saw the boars lay into each other....

....the Portuairk sow suddenly went for Betsy.  Ormsaigbeg now had four pigs fighting in a melee of flying trotters, bacon, froth and blood.

At that point, our emergency services arrived in the form of one of West Ardnamurchan's Emergency Responders, who managed to separate the ladies - Betsy had already taken refuge in her house, but the Portuairk sow wouldn't leave her alone.  He also made a courageous attempt to separate the boars but, as one onlooker remarked, "If he goes down, there'll be nothing left of him but his false teeth."

Spectators, watching the action from the safety of their upstairs windows, had by now managed to contact Betsy and Bobby's owner, Hughie MacLachlan, who obviously did not understand the true seriousness of the situation as he only promised to come down once he'd finished his tea.

Meanwhile, back on the battlefield, with Betsy vanquished and the fight between the two males at stalemate, the Portuairk sow went down the field to ginger things back into action....

....but by this stage Bobby's weight and stamina were beginning to tell over Ginger's tusks.

The fracas had lasted for three quarters of an hour before Hughie finally arrived to take control.  In quick time he summoned professional help, managed to separate the two boars, and repaired the electric fence.  Full marks here to a brave visitor who ventured down the field to assist him.

As visitors and residents heaved a collective sigh of relief, one visitor asked, "Do you have this sort of entertainment in Ormsaigbeg every Saturday evening?  It certainly beats going out to the cinema or the theatre."


  1. when will it be out on dvd jon ?

  2. I've heard that the playing of classical music has a calming influence on animals.... if Hughie was to have it played 24/7 through tannoys mounted round the perimiter of the enclosure, with the occasional wind chime and Tibetan prayer flag for good measure, I'm sure there would be less chance of repetition of this unseemly behavior. Perish the thought that it could be even rasher. I trust that the University of Kilchoan is now urgently planning to run a course in advanced pig psychiatry. What hope do any offspring of these prospective parents, who are the product of broken homes, have otherwise? : )

  3. Saturday evenings. Pigs. Use of electric devices to contain bad behaviour. Excitable young females and beligerent young men. Could be the High Street in Southend!